digging a hole in your neighbourhood

we are close to each other, the weather is like the wind that blows hard and bothers me

burn in the face of love.

walking through a paper town, counting all the reasons to burn the others down
seems like every chance i take brings me ever closer to being far away

Surely there must be hundreds of thousands of teenage girls like me, out there. Unfocused, impotent anger with the world at large, an arrogant delusion that there's a quick fix to all the world's problems and all it takes is one pure, focused mind to put it all back into order.

That's what I thought at fifteen, anyway. Now, things are a little different, but some things stay the same. Nothing changes: we are all but a whisper in the passage of time.

"There is nothing new under the sun" was first written in the book of Ecclesiastes and then quoted by Alan Turing centuries later in a paper on the metaphysics of thought and mind. Turing was a mathematician, cryptanalyst, computer scientist and philosopher, who in his writings, focused in particular on the philosophical question of whether it was possible to conceive of machines as having the same abilities as humans, capable of cognitive thought.

While that quote takes on a different context with background reading on the topic, it's still a thought that tends to stick with bitter little girls studying Year 11 Philosophy, such as myself. Nobody should give half a shit about who I am and where I'm going because I'm just another cliche. I'm just another story somebody's already heard. I'm nothing new.

Drop another pill. Write a half-arsed fucking poem about it. Fuck a stranger. Make jokes. Don't take anything seriously. Delude yourself into thinking somebody cares in an attempt to cover up the gaping ache. Kill yourself, inch by inch, measure by measure. When you're nothing but dust, who's going to know what your story was?